The secret to school success and school reform, I think...and a society committed to everyone's success, out of that...
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Eric Clapton...Tears in Heaven...
Topic: education
This second time around at my Master's in Special Education has helped me see something really important, I think:):)...

You know what I think the secret to school success and school reform is, I think?...

Letting people fail...and not making a capital case out of it...just letting them fail and learn from their failures and adjusting our expectations to support their success, rather than trying to coerce/force/harm them to try to make them succeed...

Any other way doesn't allow them to internalize the lessons of either failure...or success...

And both are two of the most important lessons for kids and adults to learn as they move into adulthood...

We are so intent on preventing failure and achieving success...that we will rationalize almost anything in its name, sadly...

And the saddest facet of this is that what we think is success often isn't...

And what we see as failure is often just lessons learned and opportunities opened up...

If we can open ourselves up to those possibilities...

And kids and adults, alike, need more opportunities to open up to those possibilities and to credit school as a place where they learned it...

Much of the ambivalence that many even very educated adults have towards school (Dick Cheney, a Ph.D. in Political Science, comes to mind, here) is around how they credit their successes in life despite their school failures and the ways they believe (correctly, often) that schools failed them...

My dad is one of those people...my step-mom is too, to some degree...

Many, many people are, is the truth...

And therein lies the complicated relationship that so many Americans and so many people have with school, education, and their successes and failures in life...

Schools can fix that...

But they have work to do to get there...

In the meantime...the current failures of school...are the exact ones that my very good graduate advisor, Tom Skrtic, identified in his now infamous 1991 Harvard Educational Review article, "The Special Education Paradox: Equity as the Way to Excellence"...

A commitment to equity is a more realistic and genuine commitment to the needs of all students, including top students, who get better, not worse, the more we account for the needs of all students, especially the students who struggle and fail...

Schools need to honestly recognize failure...

But they also need to make room for failure so that students can be ultimately successful without all of the obstacles to success that we create for them when they experience failure...including and especially the bitterness they often feel that they've been abandoned by people who promised to stand by them...

Whether adults want to acknowledge it or not...

It is not a few bad apples that are responsible for much of school failure...

It is the failure of all of us...students, parents, and teachers...

And in each case...our most important failure...is not having the courage the recognize that failure...our bigger failure around not maintaining a strong enough commitment to everyone's success...

That is true in schools and in the society, at large...

And it is our elitism, not our equity commitments...our harshness, not our decency and humanity...our toughness, not our thoughtfulness...

That makes all this so...

The truth is that we are all so goddamned mean to one another...and we just can't ever seem to take responsibility for that...and all the consequences it has on our lives, the lives of our neighbors, and, most importantly, the sorry-ass legacy that we leave our children, as a consequence...

The secret to a society that is committed to everyone's success, which is the only society worth having, is doing exactly what has created all of our progress over the course of human history...

To treat each other better...not worse...

We'll make progress on this one...just slowly...

And the biggest obstacle...is each of us having the courage to admit our failures to promote that progress:):)...

And, then, as much as possible...and as we make possible...to share those failures with others...

Have a great week, everyone:):)...

Love,
Ben

The glory road to education reform...
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: Glory Days...Bruce Springsteen (in my head:)...
Topic: education
I think I've decided that I'm going to show Glory Road the first day or first week of the school year in my two math classes next year...

If you haven't seen Glory Road, yet, I highly recommend it...it's very nice to see this trend in movies like Glory Road, Munich, and Capote of soft lighting and unobtrusive costume choices to focus audiences on the story...and it's a marvelous story...

It's the story of the 1965-66 Texas Western Miner basketball team, coached by basketball legend Don Haskins, who fielded a team of 7 black and 5 white players to improbably win the 1966 NCAA Basketball Championship...

It's a story of a group of guys, most of which nobody expected to go to college nevertheless play basketball, defying all doubts and expectations and a college basketball game very much tainted with the stain of racism...a game dominated by white coaches, journalists, and boosters who had a million excuses for why black players couldn't compete...with Texas Western, a small, modestly-funded little mining school in West Texas (now the University of Texas - El Paso) being the first team to start 5 black players, and to do so in the Championship game...and winning it all...

It is a story of an underdog team from a little known school accomplishing the impossible when noone thought they could...

And since that is exactly what my kids and I will be doing this next year and every year afterwards:):)...

I want them to get a feel for what it looks like to overcome all odds and everyone's doubts about what you can and cannot do...

I don't know how many times I hear people talk about all of the things that my kids can't do...

So we're going to build on our successes from this year and starting showing everyone what they can do...

And this movie should be inspiration for overcoming all the doubt and skepticism that these kids can do a hell of a lot more than people give them credit for...if they have teachers and coaches and parents and adults who expect and inspire more out of them...

Did I mention that I love being an underdog?...I wouldn't ever have it any other way:):):)...

I just started summer classes at Washburn University, by the way, in Topeka, Kansas, to finish my Master's Degree in special education...

My plans during and after the summer are to change the face of education, public education, and special education with the help of my kids...

And to start working on this book and go on to change the face of policy, psychology, economics, education, criminology, international relations, and really anything else I can get my hands on during this too short life...

What are your summer plans?:):):)...

Have a great week, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben

And then I have a great day:)...
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: education
Yesterday was a terrible day...

And then I have a great day like today...when a colleague who's been simultaneously a stickler for rules and authority...and someone who frequently chaffes at authority...

Talked the need to follow the spirit of the law...rather than the letter...

And colleagues I work with being much more humble, lately...

I have these really awful days...when kids...or colleagues...or the world at large...just seems to resist every value or idea that makes any sense to me, at all...

And then I have these really incredible days, like today...

When I really feel like I make a difference...

And every time I have a day like this...

I miss Brandi...

I guess it's because she was the last person who shared all these moments with me more fully...experiencing the lows along with the highs along with me...

Melissa listens...patiently...but she's not so terribly enthused about the work as Brandi was...part of the reason, I think, that Melissa and I are better as friends...because I have this passion for life and for purposeful work that she's still working on getting some fire from...

Maybe there just isn't anyone who would want to share all this passion with me...given all the lows that come with the highs...the moments of weakness that come with the strength and love...

But I gotta believe that that isn't true...

She's out there...

We just haven't made that connection, yet...

I would asked out my principal long ago, had she been single...

But, alas...she's married...

So it's me and When Harry Met Sally...until some greater love affair comes along...

All I know is that if I meet a woman with even half of the passion I have for being a great teacher for these kids...and working to strengthen communities and institutions and democracy and thought with better ideas and thinking and engagement as I am...

I'll fall madly in love, I'm sure...

And if it's half as magical as before...

I know I'll have found a soulmate, I hope...

Only this time, with lots of study and the school of hard knocks, I'm far better prepared to be a better man for her...

Now that I'm getting all indications from everyone that they'd like me to stay next year...

And I watch us change lives, one at a time...and a school at a time...

It'd be nice to live out this dream with someone who shares similar commitments...

And who can help develop more and better ideas for doing so for as long as I have during this too short life...

I have work to do:):)...

Hope everyone's having a great week:):)...

Love,
Ben

Got a say it was a good day...
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: NPR...All Things Considered...
Topic: education
I have an IEP to work on...but I thought I'd share about a really great day in my little special education classroom and my little inner city public middle school here in Kansas City:):)...

We have a quiz that we're reviewing for, right now, in my 1st and 2nd hour math class...

I've told the kids that we'll review as long as they like, to reinforce a work ethic indendent of how well they do on the quiz...but also reinforcing that the more they work and practice, the better they do (many of my kids have really been resisting doing any work, up until this point...so this is a big deal that they are so willing and prepared to do work in class:):)...

We've been practicing with math relays where the kids choose teams and compete against each other using our warm-up problems to practice...

And the kids were just on fire today...it was amazing...

I have one girl...who was so shy when I first met her...and who is not only out of her shell...but she is my smartest, most active, most engaged, most confident student...even as she's gotten so much more confident socially, navigating between teacher expectations and peer expectations, which are often at odds...

And all of my kids...even my typically worst behaved kids...were engaged today and Friday...even students who teachers said they had very little hope for, academically...

I have one girl who every teacher I'd talked to sounded like they had given up on her...and she is doing something that she wasn't doing in any of her other classes...she's trying...she's working...and she's getting better, as a consequence:):)...

The big deal, though, is that all of my students are involved in our little math relays, right now...I've sent one student out of my class in two weeks...and even then, I skipped a procedure that I probably should have taken that would have kept him in my class for that day...just in a safe seat, which is a consequence that keeps him in the classroom...

Noone's getting sent out, as a rule...and the kids are doing the work...

And they're having fun:):):)...

They're enjoying it:):):)...

It's so exciting to see them get so excited about math:):):)...

And I'm just so goddamn proud of all of them:):):)...

Either tomorrow or the next day, likely, we will take this quiz...

They are steadily improving, generally, on their quizzes (I do have one student who went from an A last quarter, decided to blow off the class for awhile this quarter, and thus a D on her progress report, to a C or B with potential for an A on this next grade card...and even that was, generally, progress, since it involved her freely committing herself to the class and school and getting over the attitude that math and school didn't matter)...

And after this last week and today...I expect much better performance on this next quiz...

The biggest deal of all, though, is that many if not most of these kids are ones that everyone has told me that they couldn't do the work...because they had given up on them, not because the kids couldn't do it...

And I just wouldn't give up on these kids...

And they are responding to the expectation to achieve...

And I'm so goddamn proud of them...

For next year, I have so much planned (assuming my contract is renewed)...more formal math relays, where they would compete against other schools...a field trip to various workplaces where adults can talk with the kids about why education matters...looking into the Urban Debate League here in Kansas City to involve them early in debate competition and research...possibly taking on a newspaper extra duty to get my kids involved in academic extracurriculars (I've advised many of them to do debate, forensics, drama, etc. for similar reasons)...

But for now...I'm just really proud of my kids...

That they're taking school seriously...

Some of them for the first time in a long time...

It's very exciting...

And I'm really proud of them...

And I hope that after this quiz...

They'll have something to be proud of, themselves...

And really begin to understand why earning your way through life...is so much more satisfying than bullshitting your way through life...

The irony being that, at some level, bullshitting is what so many of the adults in their lives -- all of us -- do every day...

But good people want to earn it, I think, even if they are bullshitting...

And our little special education math class is raising the bar for all of us to earn it...for real...

Have a great week, everyone:):)...

Love,
Ben

Martin Luther King and my kids at Eisenhower Middle School...
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Save Paradise and Put Up a Parking Lot (in my head)...
Topic: education
Monday is the Martin Luther King holiday...

So the school announcements, today, reminded students that we would not have school on Monday in honor of the holiday...

And I thought, this morning...

Martin Luther King gave his life in the cause of civil rights and efforts to end poverty (King was killed in Memphis while organizing trash workers)...

The least we can do is take some time in class to discuss his legacy...

Much of grad school, for me, and my time with Brandi, was spent studying and living in the spirit of the civil rights movement...Theo Brown, Brandi's mentor and my mentor-by-proxy, was an old civil rights activist from back in the day...RESULTS, the group to which I belong and which belonged to with me while we were dating, was a poverty group very much in the spirit of the civil rights movement...I read everything by and about Martin Luther King, Bobby Kennedy, and the civil rights movement that I could while I was in grad school...Taylor Branch's books -- Parting the Waters, Pillar of Fire, and the newest one, At Canaan's Edge -- are all brilliant, in-depth discussions of King's legacy and the legacy of the civil rights movement in the United States...

So Martin Luther King and civil rights mean a lot to me...

But apparently not so much to my kids...

None of my kids could even tell us who Martin Luther King was (even though well over half of my kids are African American)...

And as I spent some time talking about Martin Luther King's legacy and the legacy of the modern, more successful civil rights movements after 100 years post-slavery of segregation and denial of those same rights...

Some of the kids...tragically...just didn't seem to care...

My most trying student commented about King's assassination...

"That was him. That's not me."

So sad...and callous...

Especially so since this student is black...

Meaning...King lost his life in the cause of making sure that this kid could be in my class...and be treated equally to his white peers...

And all this kid can say is...

"That was him. That's not me."

So terribly sad and pathetic, I thought...

Even sadder that this philosophy animates many Americans as much as anything King led with...

Last year...I tried to volunteer at Lawrence's local Good Will to commemorate the King holiday (I got turned away when they couldn't find anything for me to do)...

This year...I'm going to do more, I think...

There's some celebrations on Saturday and Monday, here in Kansas City and in Lawrence...and the only church I've regularly attended in Lawrence is a black Baptist church...the Ninth Street Baptist Church (I love the humility in that kind of name:):):)...the ordinariness of it:):):)...I'm sure they'll have something going on...

And I want to volunteer in the spirit of the King holiday somewhere this year...perhaps the Motorcade for Hunger here in Kansas City on Monday...

Brandi's the only other person I've met -- including my black friends -- who got as excited around civil rights and the King holiday as I have...

But this year...this holiday has a lot more significance to me...

This year...

The King holiday is a reminder to me of just how rare greatness and self-sacrafice is...in a world where most people consistently settle for mediocre...

And a reminder to me...of all the excuses that had to be overcome...and still overcome...on race matters...for us to make as much progress as we've made on them...

And how many of those same excuses will have to be overcome...to make progress on so many issues that seem so fundamental to humanity's growth and learning...

The openness that is necessary for people -- including and especially themselves -- to allow others to see their lowest, basest instincts...racism, greed, and all the rest...

So that they can let them go...

And actualize their highest selves...rather than just aspiring for them without ever getting there...

Thank you, Martin, for making so much of the world that is available to us, today, possible...

Whether or not kids and adults, today, take that legacy for granted...

Love,
Ben

A far better day...
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: education
Today was a far better day...

I kind of processed what I felt like was something of a set-back in terms of prioritizing what matters in schools that happened in my school, recently...

And I was feeling better...first of all...

But more than that...

One of my kids...that just got out of a long term discipline situation...who was really difficult, behaviorally, in that discipline situation...has just come back to class this week...

And today...he was on fire...

He's not only the best behaved student in class...

He's figuring out the fraction work we're doing better than anyone in class...including the students who are the traditional leads in class...

I make a point of it in class...how's he's the new star of the class...

Because you got to understand...

This is a kid who -- because of behavior -- has likely never been the star kid in any class...

And today...he was on fire...

It was one of the most inspiring moments I've had as a teacher...

Like I said...you'd just have to know how this kid behaved before he joined our class...from persistently defiant...to the best behaved kid in class...

My philosophy in dealing with students...

You are responsible for your behavior...and I am responsible for mine...

And I am just here to remind you to be responsible for your behavior...

And this kid...has stepped up to that expectation...rather than me stepping down to his lower expectations of himself...

And it's inspiring to watch it happen:):):)...

Also...today my team was out for an inservice training in the process for deciding if a student needs an individualized education program...

So I'm collaborating with substitute teachers, all day, to be the only behavioral check that kids have, in the room, who has seen them consistently, for awhile, now...so no getting over on the substitute...

And the stark contrast between my class...who have behaved very well for substitutes...which is the consistent feedback I've gotten at this point...and kids in other classes...tells me that my class running itself very smoothly...

And that's how a class should work...

Students...children...should, as much as possible, be responsible for their own behavior...and teachers...or parents...or other adults...should just be grown-ups in the vicinity to remind them to be responsible for themselves...as well as to lead the class or the activities, of course...

And my experience, today, confirmed for me that we have been very successful in my class -- Ms. Simmons, my paraprofessional, and I -- in facilitating and teaching and preparing kids to be responsible for themselves...even if I'm not in the room...

Very inspiring stuff...

And the best part of all...

My class is the special education class, remember...

My class is the class where well over 50% of my students are there because of serious enough behavior problems that it got them taken out of general education classes...

I'm very proud...of my efforts...of the kids' efforts...of Ms. Simmon's efforts...of all of our efforts...and all in such a short amount of time (I've only been here since November, remember)...

The conflict I had two days ago is since resolved...far less ideally than I would want...but better than where we started...

And I've made my peace with the compromise...

And in the meantime...I have no doubts about my teaching abilities, at this point...I know I'm young...I know it's only two months into my career...

But I have far beyond proven my abilities at this point...

Did I mention that I fuckin' love my principal, who is as much responsible for my success as anyone else in the building...whose support I could not have been this successful without...who's love and support and keen, smart, street-wise and world-wise mind I could not have done this well without...

Freda Ogburn is, by far, the most impressive principal that I have ever worked with in my entire life...she's a Ph.D...she takes learning seriously...she cares so deeply about these kids so many years after she started teaching...without a hint of cynicism at all, really (it's really pretty remarkable)...she's sweet and sensitive and vulnerable...in public, no less...all of this...and if she was single, I would have asked her out long before writing this...she's really incredible...and it's an honor to work with her, really...on top of all that, she's really attractive...she's probably in her late 40's, early 50's...and she is gorgeous...like a serious hottie...some people just have it all...doesn't it make you sick?:):):):):)LOL:):):):):)...she's incredible...

Freda Ogburn is the first principal in my life (and I've had some good ones...Keith Wilson at Jardine-Edison Junior Academy in Wichita, Kansas comes to mind...as does Michelle Whooten at BRIDGES, a last-stop alternative school in Kansas City, Kansas)...Freda is the first principal...to plant the seed in my own mind...of perhaps wanting to be a principal, one day...I've never, ever, in my entire life, had that impulse before...and Freda is the first person to inspire me in that direction...a direction I just may end up taking before I become a researcher and professor...or maybe while...who knows what might be possible (given real time and responsibility restraints, of course)...

That really says something to me about a principal...because I've never had one, ever, as a student or as a teacher...who I so admired...

And who has taught me so much:):)...

God I fuckin' love this work:):):)...

Now I just need someone to share this life with:):):)...

Whoever she is...

I hope to never again make a woman sorry for committing her life with mine...ever again...

I hope to earn the love and trust of someone like Freda...but single:):):)...she is my new gold standard for a woman that I admire:):):)...

I wonder if she realizes just how much I respect her...

I've got to plan some classes:):):)...

Have a great day, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben

My kids were on fire and I had nothing to do with it...
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: Buddy Holly -- Weezer (in my head)
Topic: education
I had an all-day inservice on I.E.P.'s (Individualized Educational Plans) today...

So I prepared an extensive lesson for the substitute, today...

And I don't know what was in the water with those kids, today...

But they were on fire...

I come back to school dying to know how they did, today...two of them got sent out of class one special education teacher tells me...so I'm a little disappointed...

But then I look at their work in class (we keep folders with all their work every day)...

And they are solving equivalent fractions left and right...they're all over it...one student has her answer space covered in equivalent fractions far and above what the question asked her to do...

I scheduled some time for them to play a game they love playing...it's called Pizza Party...and it involves pizza pieces in the form of fractions that the kids use to learn about fractions tangibly...

And it doesn't even look like they touched that game...

They just spent the whole time doing equivalent fractions...and they did me proud...

Tomorrow we talk about what went well...my para-professional, Ms. Simmons, and the sub, Mr. Rainey, were both here...and whatever they did was great...and I'd love to hear what went great from the kids, too...

Do you know how much I want these kids to succeed?...in my math class...in school...in life...

Do you know how frustrated I get with every single unnecessary road block to that success?...including and especially the road blocks they create themselves?...

I want every single kid...no matter how far behind their peers they are, at this moment...

I want them all to succeed...and to love school...

They may or may not succeed equally...

And if some of these kids take on the kind of self-motivation and big dreams that it takes to succeed in school and in life...they could surpass their peers if they wanted to...

But getting them there will take a lot of work on mine and their part...

And choosing to do so on their part...

It's the most frustrating part about being a teacher...for every teacher...that you can't choose for your students...

But the mixed blessing in that is that one or two and hopefully all of those students...will come back to report that they are not only meeting and exceeding your expectations...

But they are kicking your lilly white ass beating those expectations...

And that's when you know that you've succeeded as a teacher...

When your students are kicking your sorry little ass...

I've got work to do to get my students to take on that challenge...

And in the meantime...

I've got a classroom full of 6th grade special education students...

On fire with equivalent fractions...

As Ice Cube would say...freaking niggas every way like M.J...I can't believe today was a good day...

Love,
Ben

I am kicking ass and taking names...
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: education
I am a born teacher, I'm convinced (though an awful lot of fuckin' work went into to my efforts)...

Things are going extremely well, here at Eisenhower...my classes are going very, very well...the behavior in my class -- which is a special ed class where at least 50% of my kids are there because of serious behavior problems that got them removed from previous general education situations -- is better than most of the general education classes I work with...and though these kids are starting out low...my goal is for them to compete with the other general ed math classes on the next Kansas math assessments...that's my goal, at least...we'll see how they do:):)...I haven't seen breakdowns on this last test for my kids, individually or as a class (though I know they did terribly since I received the practice test like two days before we were to take this pre-test, and we were nowhere close to prepared for that test)...I do know they were aggregated with the 6th grade math class that performed best among 6th graders...so we'll see...I've requested a disaggregation for my kids...and we have ambitious goals...so we'll see...

I'm working on planning a field trip this semester with the kids to interesting, exciting, and/or purposeful workplaces where they can see school-smarts (and math, in particular, as well) in action...my para has a brother-in-law who works for Mercedes-Benz...and while I'm looking into classes at University of Missouri - Kansas City, to finish my certification, I'll look at opportunities to show them around there as well:):)...

My goal is to give them the best, most interesting, most exciting, most purposeful workplace visiting experiences we can create for them to get a concrete experience of the future that education can create for them...to take them to places where math and reading and social studies and science and music and physical education and any and all school class situations might prepare them for...and to demonstrate in some concrete detail where and how school matters in their lives:):)...

And...as much as possible...to do that with people who actually believes school matters...and whose example demonstrates that...I can't say that that was exemplified very well even by most of my university professors, by my standards...but perhaps knowing that a group of kids are coming to learn that lesson might inspire some adults to reflect and understand and effectively communicate that to kids...that's the hope, at least:):)...

Least possible necessary aggression has clearly made a difference here at Eisenhower Middle School (and a school discipline system that roughly match the principles, and teachers and administrators who are supportive and ambitious)...and my own efforts, too, of course:):)...

No ivory tower bullshit for me, thank you very fuckin' much...I'm developing ideas that work...and when they don't...I face up honestly...and develop better ideas, over time...

Right now, though...I am both one of the more respected and more popular teachers at Eisenhower in a very short period of time...I'll take the first long before the second...but the second doesn't hurt, either...school's just a more honest place than most places...so popularity is not as loaded with bullshit as it is in the world outside of school...which is so loaded with bullshit, I'm surprised most people can tell the difference between honesty and their own bullshit, most of the time:):):)...

I have also decided...after much thought...and after sharing the story many times, now...

That...though I don't think that I could have done much more with grad school than I did when I was there...

That...with some experience and maturity and thought...that I would do grad school over again, today, if I could...I would have made a lot fewer mistakes as a young man...I would have put up with Tom, more...I would have recognized his good faith efforts to be a better teacher and advisor, better...I would have worked to support him, better, to be a better advisor and professor rather than leaving him and my program out of frustration...

I can only see these things in retrospect with the experience of hindsight and experience and more wisdom...which is how a lot of lessons get learned, I appreciate better, today...

I don't want to rationalize my mistakes as a grad student and as a young man growing up...fucking up my relationship with Brandi was the biggest fuck-up of that time...but there were many fuck-ups in my relationship with Tom and my professors and my fellow grad students, as well...a lot of lessons have to be learned the hard way, I'm learning...by experience...but I'd rather learn them than not...

And I don't want to rationalize just how shitty Tom often treated me when I was at KU...or how much he and Wayne, more than Jeannie (by the end, I had three co-advisors...though she did lack courage, there at the end) ignored my concerns with how my program was going when I raised them...how they condescended me, which was particularly galling to me since they were not doing academic work even close to my caliber...and, largely out of insecurity and an inability to acknowledge just how strong a thinker and a teacher I was, ran roughshot over me, much of the time...a feeling that I got used to after I left school and discovered that the whole fuckin' world is a bunch as petty assholes and son-a-bitches who treat people like me like shit all the fuckin' time (hence the reason why Zenobia Washington teaching us Billy Budd my senior year of high school is so important to me now...since this is the theme of Billy Budd...that good and decent people often get treated like shit by not-so-good-and-decent-people because they are good and decent and for no other reason)...

But the truth is that I had a lot of growing up to do and maturity that I have since gained over time that I could have done in school, had I stuck with it or had a better example...of which I had neither, frankly, at the time...so I had to learn on my own with a lot of hard knocks...and a lot of reflection...

And the biggest lesson I've learned from the whole experience...is that once the person with the highest standard (which was me, in the case of my grad school experience, of all my professors and fellow students) lowers that standard...then everyone goes to shit...everyone with a lower standard lowers it even further...as was the case with Tom and my professors and even fellow grad students, as well, after I left school...

It's time for me to consider a different program to do my certification work in, I think, since I just think my relationships with Tom and the grad school at KU are just too soured to work any more at those relationships without effort on their part (which I'm not seeing at this point)...

And I'm thinking, after that experience, that perhaps a more formal policy Ph.D. program would be better to finish my Ph.D. work in, with an advisor I can trust...and I'll be very picky about that last part, this time...I only needed to get burned on that one, once, to learn that lesson...I'm going to go back to Wichita, in the next few weeks or so, and talk with my undergrad thesis advisor, David Ericson, who is a political science professor, about who I might do a Ph.D. program with...Dr. Ericson is the professor who pointed me in the direction of Paul Peterson's work at Harvard (though I had no clue, at the time, and I don't know if Dr. Ericson did either, that his primary work is in education policy...perhaps he did)...

I like how Harvard's graduate program is set up...how much freedom it offers its graduates...

But I would rather find a public university...I genuinely believe -- after some experience in both private and public schools and universities -- that public schools and universities are better...and I would rather do any formal studying I might do in a public university as much as teach in a public school...

But finding one that I trust will be a chore...and not one that I'm in a hurry to complete since my work is far and above most professors I've ever worked with or met, I think...and I'm not worried that I'm missing out on anything, at this point, except that I might like to learn more in some classes, to do a formal dissertation and thesis, and to graduate and have my parents and others see me graduate...

I'll be thinking about it...and talking about it with Dr. Ericson when I find time to go meet with him...

I bring with me the pretty compelling ability to secure grant money, I think...and I'm sure I could likely win a Spencer grant or similar grant money for my work, especially given successful experiences as well as compelling theoretical work, at this point...so I could likely get my grad education paid for with some hard work...

And if I'm going back to school (as with finding a new mate)...I want to make sure that I'm working with the best...and in neither situation, have I been working with the best in the past, I'm convinced...

I want a mate who will support me as well or better as I would support them (a challenge that no woman has ever been able to meet at this point...and I, at least, want a woman who will aspire in a serious way that leaves Brandi Fisher in the dust...I have done so, at this point...and I want a significant other who will do the same)...

And I want teachers who will support me as well or better as I would support them...none of whom I have met, at this point...

Brandi and Tom and the faculty at KU tried...but none of them even came close to living up...

And it is my challenge to find people who will...

And if they can't...

Who aspire...

I haven't met those people yet...

But goddamn if I'm going to drop my standards just because everyone else is doing it, these days...

You know what I say to everyone rationalizing why they're being such shitheads these days?...

Fuck 'em...

I'll be holding my standards high, motherfuckers...

And you don't want to follow...

Then so fuckin' be it...

And I'll just keep racing right the fuck past you, dumbass...

Because dumbass rationalizations only last...

Until they see the break of dawn...

And dawn has to come sometime...for everyone...

That's how progress happens, I'm learning...

Some of us are just far ahead of the curve:):):)...

It's after 8PM here at Eisenhower...I should probably head home before Melissa starts to wonder where the fuck I am:):):)...

Have a great day, everyone...

Love,
Ben

When someone gave a shit...
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: They Might Be Giants...Lazyhead and Sleepybones...Alphabet Lost and Found...You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown...
Topic: education
You know why so many folks talk about college or school as the last time they felt more idealism or better about themselves and their lives?...

Because it is, too often...and so sadly...the last time that someone they worked with really gave a shit about them, I'm convinced...after working so many other jobs outside of schools, I think this is the reason why so many people have such fond memories of school, so often (though I do have friends who don't seem to have any time that they liked life, sadly)...

A barber I had expressed this sentiment about high school as much as so many of my friends express it about college...

And I think it's because, for so many folks...sadly...it is the last time they felt like people around them really gave a shit about them...

It's so sad that we create such a shitty world for adults...trying, vainly, to make it up by treating their children better, hopefully...

But I am damned lucky to work in that kind of place...

Where the kids and the teachers are people who people give a shit about, often enough...

My principal did something really nice for me, today, that I promised I wouldn't reveal...but I was just so touched that I finally had a boss who actually gave a shit about me as a human being...and not just as a employee...

It's been a long time since I've had that feeling...

Since I was a student, actually...

It's nice to be home, again...

Brandi bought this album for me...They Might Be Giants' "No!"...the first, that I know of, of TMBG's really terrific kids' albums:):):)...check it out when you get a chance...also...possibly their better kids' album...Here Come the ABC's...

And, of course...the ever-fun kids' musical...You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown...

Sweet dreams, everyone...

Love,
Ben

The challenge in front of me:):)...
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: I've put a spell on you...Ray Charles:):)...
Topic: education
This is why the world seems so cock-eyed to me:):):)...

Majority of Americans reject evolution...

You see...at heart:):)...I'm just a scientist:):)...

My mind thinks too logically to bottom out to the lowest common denominator of most Americans:):):)...or people, generally, for that matter:):):)...

I've had the evolution/creation/intelligent design conversation a million times:):):)...

But what it all comes down to...is that the broad, undeniable consensus within the scientific community...favors evolution...and all other theories -- various creation stories...of which intelligent design is an ingenious variation on:):):) -- are interesting cultural myths to study as a part of Western heritage, world history, and world cultures...

But science, they are not...

And I am just too intellectually honest...to try to pretend that I identify very much at all with the idea that somehow my own personal or religious dogma...could ever or should ever...trump science:):):)...or deep, profound understandings of the world:):):)...

I think the reason why I see the world so different from most people...

Is that I just don't take bullshit folk theories about the world very seriously, at all:):)...

I only take seriously the most rigorous thought...

And everything else is just kind of bullshit, as far as I'm concerned:):):)...

Most people don't think like that, I'm learning...

And my thinking on that...

They should...

And they should learn to live and think up to my standards and to the standards of the best thinkers in the world:):)...

And not me or those thinkers down...to the thinking of most folks...

And that is why I don't understand most people, much of the time:):):)...

Because I just don't take stupid that seriously, really:):):)...and I don't care how seriously others take stupid...it's still stupid, as far as I'm concerned...

And I only take smart seriously...

Smart can mean that someone understands cars...or weed-whackers...or whatever...

And it can mean that they understand people...or schools...or politics...or economics...or whatever...better...as well:):):)...

But I just don't respect thinking that takes stupid too seriously...and doesn't respect, enough, the best thinking...

And my expectation...is that people should live up to that...not me living down to stupid:):):)...

And that is the long and short of it, as far as I'm concerned:):):)...

Have a great day, everyone:):):)...

And if you happen to be one of those people who agree with the majority in this poll:):):)...

I would suggest keeping your day job:):):)...and not trying your hand, professionally, at science, any time soon:):):):)...

Unless you have a rigorously considered scientific challenge to evolution...

And it better be good...

And not some long rationalization for why "God does exist, gosh darnit!"...

Because if this is what you're going after...scientifically-minded people want proof for your ideas...proof for which yours and other ideas can be falsified...not just asserted...and not just self-righteous pronouncements of whatever dogma you ascribe to...

And my efforts are to bring folks up to that expectation...

And to stop having intelligent people...pander down to the foolishness of average folks:):):)...

Have a great night, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben