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Michael Wolmetz asks for Deborah Brakarz's hand in marriage, Union Station, New York, NY, Valentine's Day 2004

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Building a Better World
Friday, 18 August 2006
The problem with getting old...
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: religion/free will

We just got out of a meeting with some teachers...

It's so funny how generational issues impact the way that people look at things...

We have one teacher on the team who is really upset about grills, the metal carvings that some people (and some kids) wear on their teeth...

I have a ton of friends who have them...I think they're silly...and definitely way more expense than they are worth...but I just figure it's up to people to figure out how they want to look (I'm not a big fan of our school dress code, but I encourage kids to follow it since, of course, I think the education is more important than how we dress)...and I figure if you want to look foolish or shocking, then that's up to you...you deal with the consequences of that and I don't give a shit either way...

But teachers are up in arms...as are most older people about so much in youth culture that they often just don't understand is exactly what motivates such behavior...

Kids do this stuff for self-expression...but they as often do it to get just such a reaction...especially from their parents and teachers, who they, generally, want off their backs...so when they don't get one, then you and they can get focussed on the stuff that really matters in life...

It's so funny...because people don't take the time to think about how their reactions fuel many of the very things that they are so upset about (my friendship with Brandi comes to mind for me, here, though I think I've just kind of given up on being friends with Brandi, at this point, since I just time for the games, anymore), they reinforce the very behavior that they're trying to deal with...

Hillary Clinton, quite the stuffy mom, doesn't realize that her desire to regulate video games like Grand Theft Auto is exactly what motivates the creation and consumption of such video games...the more taboo she makes it, the more popular it becomes...

And so it goes and so it always has gone and so it always will go until people get a clue and stop fueling the very shit they're so concerned about...

In the meantime...I felt resolved, coming out of this meeting...to not become old...

Obviously, I have to age...but I no interest in sounding like such an old nag...

Kids and adults, now and forever, will always make their own choices...it's far more effective to appeal to peoples' reason and conscience, generally, especially in the long term, than to try to regulate their behavior...the latter always being in the moment and as long as there is someone around to enforce regulation, and eventually often wearing off, absent a matter of conscience or reason at stake, and then still wearing off, often, even then...and still more often creating resistance, rebellion, and fueling the very behaviors that regulators are trying to address...

It's the best thing about being young and having a young spirit...letting people be who they want to be...which is exactly what they're going to do, anyway, whether you like it or not...it's just that they are more likely, by far, in my experience, to be closer to better expectations for themselves, the less we regulate them and the more we appeal to their consciences...

What we currently do clearly doesn't work, if our concern is that we don't want to change ships midstream...

And perhaps we're more concerned with self-righteous stands than tangible results...

If so, we should just get used to self-righteous stands that yield no or worse results (better results if we appeal to conscience)...

But just for me, personally...I just can't imagine being that stuffy...and being so concerned with the splinters in other peoples' eyes, as my homie Jesus of Nazareth used to say, than with the beams in our own...

Love, Ben 


Posted by benfrankln at 9:12 AM CDT
Updated: Saturday, 19 August 2006 5:03 PM CDT
Monday, 31 October 2005
What's wrong with us?...
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Schindler's List
Topic: religion/free will
...people, I mean...

Why are we always looking for who's better?...

Who's smarter?...who's stronger?...who's got the right religion...or is religious enough?...who's got the right ideology...or is liberal or conservative or radical or communist or Islamist or Christian or Jewish or whatever enough?...who's richer?...who's sexier?...who's more powerful?...who offends us less?...who we can outcast?...who it's ok to hate?...who it's ok to kill?...

Why are we always doing this?...

What purpose does it serve?...

I know why I do it...

I do it when I don't trust people...

I try not to do it...

But sometimes it gets to be too much...

Sometimes people just shit on me, too much...

And I don't trust them...sometimes...

But the truth is...we all do...

Every single one of us...

Without exception...

So why do we do it, then?...

Maybe...it's because though we all prove ourselves unworthy of trust...at times...

We all also have a hard time acknowledging our responsibility for that...

Definitely some more than others...no doubt about that...

But I am becoming convinced that we all have a hard time taking responsibility...

Not just for how we prove ourselves less worthy of trust...

But for how we all keep that in place...

Meaning how shitty we treat one another...

And how little we account for how that makes things worse, generally...

Our saving grace, I think...is that we can't sustain ourselves on that...

And when and if we're honest enough with ourselves and one another...and smart enough about it...

We see that, better...

And we can't maintain that path...

Because we can't pretend, any more, that it's working...

We can't pretend, any more...that when we treat people like shit...

That we're really better than we are...

When it's so clear that we're not...

And when we come clean on that...

We can either forgive ourselves...and love ourselves...for what shitheads we can be...

Or we keep pretending...

But pretending doesn't make the reality go away...

It's just pretending...

And that's, really, the worst tragedy of all...

That we never learn to love ourselves...or be loved...or love one another...

For who really are...

And not who we imagine ourselves to be...or even the great people we aspire to be...

All of us...

That includes me...

You know what?...

I'm not going to do this, any more...any of this...

This life...

For anyone else...

From now on...

It's for me...

And if others happen to appreciate it...then so be it...

But my life is for me...

I've fallen short in my life...more times than I can count...worse, at times, more than others...I've done well...many times, too...

But my own final judgment of myself is the only one that counts...

And maybe if I believe that...for real...

Then I won't look to anyone else...at all...for their approval...or their love or not...or their judgment of me...

Because God knows I don't trust anyone else to know better for me...that's for goddamned sure:):)...

And God knows that my judgment is the only one that really counts for me...

I noticed the other night...talking with my father...that his approval still means far too much to me:):)...I love my dad:):)...but he and I both know that he's a great guy...and a fallible guy:):)...I know why I feel like that when I do:):)...

Or why any of us confuse other peoples' perceptions of how good we are...with the reality of how good we are...

Because...really...who gives a shit what peoples' perceptions are of how good or not we are?...

Perceptions don't mean anything, really...

Unless they are based on reality...

And yet, again and again...I read...in media accounts...in journalistic columns...even in scholarly work...

Where people persistently confuse perception with reality...where people show concern about others' perceptions of their actions...rather than the reality of whether what they are doing is good or not...

And my question is...who gives a shit?...

Has anyone's perception of you as good or bad...actually made you good or bad?...

Obviously not...

Our actions are good or bad...better or worse...based on the reality that they are good or bad...better or worse...

And everything else is just bullshit, really...

And who really gives a shit about that:):):)LOL:):):)...

But maybe we all get so wrapped up in rationalizing the bullshit...in trying to look better than we really are...

That we all just kind of lose track of whether we really are good people or not...

And I'm just tired of all that...

I've been tired of all that for quite awhile...

And I'm just coming to terms with the fact that it really doesn't matter...if you genuinely want to do good and be good...

And that often...doing good and being good...means throwing off concerns about how you look or seem good...

And just committing yourself to doing good and being good...no matter what the consequences...

Most people don't live their lives like that, really...

But they all want to appear as if they live their lives like that...

Even when they don't:):):)...

And the question we all have to ask ourselves...down deep...

Is do we just want to try to look good...even when we're not?...

Or do we actually want to be good?...to do good?...even when it's unpopular?...or when it doesn't appear to some as good?...so wrapped up are they in looking good rather than being good...

I got tired of trying to look good a long time ago...

After years of success in high school and college speech and debate...based, to a great degree, on merit...on actually being good and doing good...

But based, too much, on looking good...rather than really doing or being good...

After 7 years of that...I finally decided, as I applied for grad school...

That I didn't want that, any more...

That I was tired of doing anything in my life, any more...based on how I appeared...rather than the actual merits of my efforts...of my ideas...of myself, as a person...

The irony is that people...generally...all over the world...

Obsess about this question...

How good or not people are...how good they can be...what doing good and being good looks like...

And then we engage in all kinds of actions...

That maintain our focus on looking good...rather than being good...by expecting ourselves and others...to repress when we're thinking or doing or being bad...or less than ideal...and that keep us focussed on how we look to others...rather than how we actually are...inside and out...

And then all the most terrible crimes we commit against one another...like the Holocaust...genocide...terrorism...serial and mass murders...

All get committed in the name of how people want to appear as if they are good...or better...

With a total detachment from whether they really are doing and being good...or better...

And those crimes get committed...because people, finally, lose track, completely...of whether their lives are about doing good...or looking good...

It's all so terribly tragic...

It's the best argument for why hope and progress are, ultimately, the only possible pathes...

Because the only other route is total self-destruction...and destruction of one another...

Total detachment from what shitheads we can be...rather than just facing our shithead tendencies...loving ourselves despite them...and moving forward...

Denial...defensiveness...pretending...

These don't offer us a way forward...

At best, they offer us a way to maintain all of the same problems we have currently...

And, at worst...they make problems worse...rather than better...

And the only reason to pretend...to be better than we are...

Is to avoid consequences we don't want...and to get the things we want...

And if we want to be good, for real...

And we want others to be good for real...

Then we have to stop ignoring these things...

We have to do what our family and teachers and other good people in our lives told us we had to do when we were young...

We have to do good because it's the right thing to do...

Not because we are either scared or seduced by negative or positive consequences...

Because the latter...is about looking good...

Not about being good...

I do think that, at some level...we care about being good...

And it is that desire...deep down in our hearts...

Which is our center...our authentic center...

Our political center...our moral center...our real center in life...

And we lose track of it...

When we focus, too much, on how we look...to others...

Rather than who we are...for real...

Fallible...flawed...uncertain...scared...human beings...

Human being with limits...

Human beings who can be better...but which limits we can't entirely transcend...no matter how much hubris leads us to believe otherwise...

And it is our fantasy of our own perfectability...and our hubris to believe that we can be anything other than fallible, flawed, uncertain human beings...

That keeps us lost...on the path of looking good...

Rather than being good...

I'm tired of world based too much on looking good...rather than being good...

Because...when it comes to looking good...rather than being good...I'm always left with the question...

Who gives a shit?...really...

The only thing that matters...really...is doing good...and being good...

Everything else is bullshit...

Happy Halloween, everyone:):)...have a great week:):)...

Love,
Ben

Posted by benfrankln at 4:46 PM CST
Updated: Monday, 31 October 2005 5:30 PM CST
Tuesday, 27 September 2005
Heading for higher ground...where there's room for all of us...
Mood:  sad
Now Playing: Amazing Grace...Walela...Dropkick Murphies...Leann Rhimes...
Topic: religion/free will
I was just having a conversation with a friend about an issue I was having with a sister of mine...

And we got to a point in the conversation that was an important one for me...

How do we know who "good people" are?...

Now...obviously...we all have a sense of who good people are...by their outlooks...by their deeds...by their words...

But that's not quite what is the important part of the conversation for me...

The important part of the conversation is...

That so many of us...most of us...have this conversation like the point of it is to belong to a club...and to figure out who to exclude from the club...

It's an attitude that causes so many problems in the world, I can hardly name them all...

It's a variation on the ugly theme of which is the right religion?...which is the right country?...which is the right race?...which is the right way to live?...

And while I definitely think there are better ways to live and worst ways to live...

One of the worse ways to live...in my book, at least...and I think, period...

Is to spend one's life trying to figure out who to expel from the exclusive club of "good people"...

It just stinks of self-righteousness and a futile attempt to control people and to generally try to position oneself in an ugly game of life where the person playing it is the good person...and where whomever they decide is bad...

And the irony to me...is that genuinely good people...want as many people in that club as possible...

Jesus...Buddha...Ghandi...King...what all these guys have in common is that they kept opening up doors that others had tried to lock shut on people...

They are not known for their exclusivity...

They are known as great men because they opened those doors to people who were left out...

And yet...it is the persistent habit among people who consider themselves mere mortals...and not Jesus or Buddha...or Ghandi...or King...to petition the world to live down to their standards...

Rather than up...to our highest standards...to be great human beings...rather than settle for mediocrity...

And to believe that everyone...no matter who they are...have the potential to be great human beings...no matter what their past...no matter what their indiscretions...given the choice to aspire to be a better and a great human being...

It's a dirty game, we mere mortals play...we can't be great...but at least we're not as big a shithead as so-and-so...

It's bullshit...and it plays to the lowest common denominator of what it is and can mean to be a great human being...

So many of us know that we should love our neighbor...and friends...and family members...

But we don't really in our hearts...and the road just looks too painful to even try...no matter how many people we hurt in the process...

And as my good friend, Josh, would say...I call bullshit on that...

I say...being a human being is tough work...I'll give you that...but it's work that everyone can do...and everyone needs to do...to share the load...and stop putting our shit off on others because we just don't think we can handle being grown-ups...who keep growing...even when the growth is painful...

I have an issue with a sister, right now, who can't give up the bullshit, right now...I have a mother who plays the same game, regularly...and I just can't stand how it tears my family apart...

And I just can't stand how it tears the family of humanity apart...

And I call bullshit...

I say...I understand that the road sometimes seems long and painful, at times...and we'll take breaks as you need them...

But then...we put our packs back on...and we keep traveling...and sometimes its painful...and that kind of pain is good for you...and its good for everyone else around you...who has to put up with you as long as you put it off...

Those guys I mentioned are considered great men...because they were the strongest...and we all need to both strive to be that strong...and to give up the bullshit when we choose not to be...or we feel like we just can't be, in the moment...

And if we can't...we don't deserve to constantly lick our wounds...and have other lick them too...just because we can't learn to grow up...and deal with the reality of being alive...

Which is that life involves getting hurt...and there is no way around that...period...

We try to hurt each other less...but there is no life without pain...period...

And self-righteous assertions that we are the good people...or at least the not-so-bad people...so that we can feel self-assured that we've excluded the really bad people...which is different from dealing constructively with people who do real harm to us and to others...

Those assertions are meaningless...

Because the truth is...

Humanity cannot sustain itself or one another...on bitterness...and self-righteousness...and emotional blackmail...and control...and other various kinds of ugliness...

We cannot function very effectively, at all, that way...

And we would function a hell of a lot better the more we come to terms with how shitty we are to one another...and how much better we could be...if we would face that pain and bitterness and ugliness...

And leave it behind...

It's the most important challenge that humanity has in front of it, right now...by my lights...which is why I work so hard at trying to make and keep us aware of it...

Until we let go that sad legacy of our inhumanity toward one another...

And to live up to our highest ideals...

Rather than constantly bottoming out to our lowest, basest instincts...

And one of those lowest instincts...is trying to figure out which club to belong to that has all the good people in it...and which groups or individuals to exclude from that club because we just don't have what it takes to really include everyone in the human family...largely because we just don't have what it takes to face what shitheads we are, much of the time...

Politics is one of the obvious versions of this really...

Take your pick of which team is good and which team is bad...

Those big bad Democrats are looking to make you conform to every last foolish politically-correct standard they can find...and to punish the shit out of you, if you won't comform...and steal your hard-earned money...and to spend it on whomever they pull out of the sewer...

And those big bad Republicans are looking to make you love Jesus...and be a good Christian, whether you like it or not...all the while justifying every terrible thing that every millionaire does to win their millions...and to take you to war...whether you like it or not...

There's truth in both of those pictures of Republicans and Democrats, of course...

But not only are they not the whole picture of the people behind those characatures...

They don't at all do justice to the greatness that is embodied in the best ideas amongst Democrats and Republicans...liberals and conservatives...your team and their team...and for a lot of Americans...those two teams that never seem to stop fighting one another about who is good and who is bad...

Conservative and liberal ideas that embody the best that our highest ideals...of freedom...and decency...and generosity...and equity...and love...and compassion...and humanity...has to offer...

Modern political science was developed amidst a similarly but far darker time in our history...

Thomas Hobbes watched as Protestants and Catholics destroyed much of Great Britain in religious wars to decide who was right...and who was wrong...who was good...and who was bad...

And like today...the truth was...

They were all just a bunch of goddamned fools...

And...

Decent people who had the capacity and whose progeny eventually grew into some of the most decent that humanity has ever had to offer...

Hobbes wrote his Leviathan as an effort to understand and give some kind of positive explanation for political power that didn't have to rest on these traditional claims of who were the good citizens of Great Britain...and who were bad...

And that instead argued for political power based on reason...rather than on the bitter claims of opposing factions in British society...

Our current political moment features similar such bitter claims among rivaling factions...both convinced of their goodness...and of the intent of their opposition to derail all that is good in the society...

And like our historical analogues...

We are all just a bunch of goddamn fools...

Not just for playing politics this way...

But for playing life this way...

And it is a life that leaves us all stuck in our own sad, bitter, darker world, as a consequence...

A world where the light that shows the way forward...

Involves qualities of our humanity that we too often think of as weakness...so lost are we in our distorted and dark visions of the world...

Love...compassion...forgiveness...generosity...
decency...humanity...equity...democracy...

Freedom...

And a construtive vision of how the world is improved for our presence in it...

All of us...each and every one of us...

No matter who we are...what we've done or not done in our past...

And no matter what bullshit games we play to avoid being the better people that will get us to higher ground...

We will always have to come back to this path...to do better...to be better...and not just whine and carp and bemoan the fact that we just haven't made it to higher ground, yet...

Because that is where the higher ground is...

No matter how long we languish in the low country...

And the high country has room for all of us...

It is not exlusive...

Because it has no need to be...

And until we make the effort to travel in that direction...

We will continue to live the lives of quiet desperation...and today...not-so-quiet-desperation...that Thoreau wrote about more than a century ago...

And I call bullshit on that...

I say we all take the challening but important steps...

To grow up...as a human family...

And to head for higher ground...

Where there's room for all us...

Every single last one of us...as much as it is literally humanly possible for us to offer that up...

And to stop settling for mediocrity on this one...

Because this one...our humanity...is more important than any of the other bullshit that we engage in with in our lives...

Because...when it comes down to it...

It's the only one that really matters...

And we'll be a lot better for it, ultimately...the better we deal with it...

And everything else that we discuss...and debate...and dialogue about...and deal with, generally...

Are all a function of this one...

And they won't be resolved...

Until we deal with this one...not really...

Ever...

And I want us to look for higher ground...

Rather than trying to make do in the swamplands...

And too much of where we at...humanity, that is...is stuck in the swamp, right now...

And the higher ground...has room for all of us...

Have a great night, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben

Posted by benfrankln at 1:41 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, 27 September 2005 1:52 AM CDT
Wednesday, 14 September 2005
Darkness before the dawn:):):)...
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Kate Bush...Oh to be in love:):):)...Kathleen Edwards...Back to me:):):)...
Topic: religion/free will
I'm pretty sure, now, that we are seeing the darkness before the dawn...

Because this whole last week...today, especially...

I'm been getting a really nice peek at the dawn:):):)...

And it's a really beautiful view, let me tell you:):):)...

When I was in grad school:):)...

I went through this really cynical period:)...

Brandi can tell you about it, if you ask her:):)...

It was the middle of the Clinton Administration and the Gingrich/Dole Congress...which was both a highwater mark for some really constructive policy, I think:):)...and a low point for some really awful partisanship, as well...

And I was just growing really disillusioned that Washington D.C. was even really capable of doing good, much of the time...and I was feeling increasingly disconnected from Washington politicians and journalists and others and all their thick skins and cynicism...

And I was trying to make sense of it all...of how so many people who believed in doing good in the world...

Could all act to terribly towards one another...

How in the world I was supposed to look at that as some kind of model of morality...or neighborliness...or decency...or humanity...or whatever...

And I'm increasingly come to the conclusion...

That I'm not...

That power has nothing at all to do with doing or being good, much of the time...

Sometimes it does...

And sometimes it's necessary...

But that the ideal of a self-governing nation doesn't at all involve politicians of whatever stripes...or even citizens of whatever stripes...always lording over one another...as if they're power-tripping and bullying had anything to do with being or doing good or facilitating authentic self-governance amonst individuals, communities, and societies...which the more base reactions to Hurricane Katrina totally give lie to...

It is the generosity of Americans, during this time, that is the model of self-governance that we should all learn from and do justice to by following its example...

And everything else, really, is just bullshit...yet one more target for our ongoing bitterness and anger that the world is not as clean and predictable and without tragedy as we would want...and a fundamental failure of our humanity...to come to terms with tragedy as a fact of human existence...now and forever...

So...in grad school...I felt the pain of a world that disappointed me...

And I chose cynicism...for awhile, at least...

Brandi could tell you more about it...it was kind of dark time for me...

But...today...I see and experience that same pain...

And I choose idealism...and constructiveness...and decency...and humanity...and generosity...and a generally helping spirit...

Because it is the only thing that does any damn good in this world...

Everything is just bullshit, really...

And I'm not interested in pretending any different any more...

And the disaster that accompanied Katrina...has just been something of a clarifying moment for me...something of a watershed...

That cycicism is just one long slippery slope of rationalizing what assholes we are...

And how I don't want to rationalize, at all, ever...ever...any more...being an asshole, anymore...

I don't want to be an asshole, any more...as much as possible...ever...

And I want to take responsibility for it every single time I am...

Every single time...

Period...

No excuses...

And that's what it means to be decent...and responsible...and good, I think...

And that's me for the rest of my life...

Embracing my inner asshole...really embracing him...loving him...and understanding him better...

And taking responsibility every step along the way:):)...

And doing everything I can to maintain...enlarge...elaborate...innovate...and otherwise inspire that spark of idealism...

For the rest of my life...

And make no excuses for myself, any more, when I don't...

It was nice to do that for three months and several years with someone else to help me reinforce that:):):)...

But...while it's not the same thing...doing it without sharing it with someone...

I'm really proud of myself doing that today...on my own...whether people around me reinforce it or not:):):)...

Just being good...and aspiring to be better...always...and embracing the moments and the impulses to do otherwise:):):)...

And it sure beats the dark fantasy that we can somehow avoid doing bad in our lifetimes...and that we've got to beat ourselves up and beat everyone else up, along the way...while we both rationalize it...and hate ourselves for it:):)...

I feel like...in this really fundamental way...

That I've grown up in the last week...

In a really fundamental way...

Because it's not a way that anyone demonstrated for me, really...

It's been a path that I've followed others for, when they had directions...

And that I've blazed on my own, when they didn't:):):)...

And I'm really proud of that:):):)...

I do wish I had someone to share it with:):):)...

But it's alright that I don't:):):)...

I really, really like who I am today:):):)...

And I want to be more like this and better for the rest of my life:):):)...

And hopefully...share it with my friends and family, of course:):):)...

And...find someone who wants to step out of their comfort zones:):):)...take on the challenge:):):)...

And share this life with me:):):)...

To aspire for greatness:):):)...and not the same old mediocrity that the world has to offer right now and perpetually:):):)...

I feel completely renewed, right now:):)...

I feel like a kid again:):):)...seeing the world with wonder...and curiosity:):):)...and boundless love:):):)...

But not naive...at all...

Just embracing reality as it is...

And committed to making it better:):):)...

And borrowing ideas from all kinds of people, along the way:):):)...on how to make it better:):):)...

Have you ever had that feeling?...?...that feeling that your life really matters, I mean...really matters...

I definitely recommend it...

Because there's nothing like it...

You couldn't buy this feeling if you wanted to:):)...

You earn it:):):)...

And I'm proud as hell that I've earned it:):):):)...

I have one friend who once aspired to earn it like this...she's the only one who has ever aspired to try to earn it in a way even close to this:):):)...I hope she continues on that path, at some point...

And I'm looking forward, like crazy, to meeting others, along the way:):):)...

And maybe one of them...a girl, hopefully:):):)...will choose to earn it along with me:):):):):):)...

Have a great day, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben

Posted by benfrankln at 10:14 PM CDT
Updated: Wednesday, 14 September 2005 10:27 PM CDT
Monday, 22 August 2005
It suddenly dawned on me...
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Damien Rice...The Blower's Daughter...
Topic: religion/free will

...the irony of the idea of a theology of cynicism...

...or a theology or religion based on the premise that people are bad...

...how inherently contradictory the whole idea is...

The idea that people are bad...or that cynicism about people is warranted...

...reflects a profound lack of faith...

...not faith...

Faith involves believing even when the evidence isn't always immediately present...not ignoring the evidence at all...just not always relying on the most immediately available evidence...

And cynicism...or believing that people are bad...

...only relies on immediately available evidence...

...and not on their whole lifetimes...their whole selves...

The times when they are children...the times and places where they do good with noone looking...the times and places where they improve and get better...

Lack of faith is the common sentiment in almost all bad behavior and mistakes of conscience in the world...

And faith is one of its most important correctives:):)...

I've got to get to work:):):)...

Have a great night, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben

Posted by benfrankln at 11:08 PM CDT
Friday, 19 August 2005
What is the alternative to a theology of cynicism?...
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Aimee Mann...The Magnolia soundtrack...Damien Rice...The Blower's Daughter...
Topic: religion/free will
Alasdair Palmer writes a brilliant and terrible opinion piece for Great Britain's Daily Telegraph, this morning:):):)...

Wickedness shouldn't be treated as an illness

And Laughing Wolf writes the brilliant and terrific rebuttal:):):)...

Lost

Alasdair's headline is right...

But his conclusion -- that there are just irredeemably bad people in this world -- is wrong...

And people just like Alasdair have been wrong for the entirety of humanity...

And Laughing Wolf is largely right (though I think there is a still more hopeful view of humanity than even this very hopeful view:):):):)...

Jesus was right...and so was Martin Luther King...and so was Ghandi...and so were all those goody-two-shoes that cynics of the world all over wish would just go away so that the task of finally ending all that wickedness can finally be undertaken...

People do bad things...they make mistakes...and they are redeemable...

And it is only that faith that makes our stay on this little planet possible...nevertheless bearable...

Because humanity has cursed itself and perpetually curses itself every generation...

And it always finds redemption...

Because it's the only thing that takes us forward...

And it's kind of sad and frustrating, really, that the self-righteous like Mr. Alasdair Palmer...

Can't see what a terrible thing it is to permanently foreclose on the life of another...

How this line of reasoning is one long rationalization for what an dickhead a guy like this must be...

And can't see that his is a life completely riding on the back of the stronger of humanity...

To make the world better...

His load is heavy...

But Laughing Wolf...and I...and the rest of those who choose the stronger, more courageous, more compassionate route...

Will carry him as long as he needs...

But it would be nice if he could learn to walk for himself, someday...

Just saw Magnolia again, tonight...highly recommend it:):)...very intense...so intense that the first time I watched it with my then and still brother-in-law (then, technically, since he was still married to my sister, at the time)...we joked about it all the way through:)...because it was just too intense and quite a bit over the top to take in one sitting:):):)...

But if you can get past the drama and the hyper-intensity:):):)...

It's a pretty good little flick, actually:):):)...

There's a scene in the movie...after watching for most of the movie the very fucked up lives of almost all of the primary characters...

That a plague of frogs falls from the sky to cover the city below it...

Very biblical:):):):):)...

Do people really still think that it will take a plague of frogs to make humanity better?:):):):):):):)...

Or that humanity just can't get better:):)...equally as naive...and foolish...and lacking in the very faith that is the most important base of theology...or lack of it, depending on your convictions:):):)...

It takes exactly what Jesus and Buddha and King and Ghandi and all the wisest people have said over the long course of humanity:):):)...

Forgiveness...compassion...decency...learning...growth...and love:):):)...

...and better ideas:):):)...

We better come up with better ideas than the lazy theology of Alasdair, here:):):)...

Because we are in a world of fuck and hurt if Alasdair's word is the last one on this planet:):):):):):):)...

As Laughing Wolf says:):):)...

"If you really and truly believe that, why are you alive? What purpose does your life serve?"

Good goddamned question...

We all might want to answer that one for ourselves:):):)...

Have a good weekend, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben

Posted by benfrankln at 10:15 PM CDT
Updated: Saturday, 20 August 2005 10:04 AM CDT
Sunday, 10 July 2005
The Ninth Street Baptist Church:):):)...
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Top of the World:):):)...The Dixie Chicks:):):)...
Topic: religion/free will
My friend, co-worker, and lead on the docks at work, Fred:):):)...invited me this week to go to his church today, the Ninth Street Baptist Church:):):)...

I had told Fred that I had sung in a black gospel choir in undergrad:):):)...and that I'd like to sing in one again:):)...and that I had never been to a black gospel church and would love to go:):):)...

And today DEFINITELY did not dissappoint:):):)...

VERY LIVELY:):):)...the pastor, Reverend Brown:):):)...is one of the best ministers I've ever heard, really:):):)...very down to earth:):):)...used street slang:):):)...talked about practical issues like giving/titheing (sp?), saving, and investing:):):)...put abstract theological issues in really every day terms:):):)...

And WHEW:):):)...the ENERGY in that room:):):)..it was AMAZING:):):)...the singers were INCREDIBLE:):):)...I've never sung that much or that soulful in a church:):):)...it was brilliant:):):)...

And one of the VERY FEW TIMES in my life when I went to an adult church service and did not, at any point, want to go to sleep:):):)...it was very nice:):):)...

The pastor referenced Luke, chapter 6, in the sermon, which I didn't realize till today is one of the best chapters to sum up the best teachings of Jesus Christ:):):)...chapter 6, verse 27 through 45, to be exact:):):)...is some of the BEST STUFF that Jesus had to say:):):)...

Love thy enemy...it is easy to love those who love us, Jesus says:):):)...the sign of truly good people is those who love those who it is hard to love:):):)...

Judge not lest ye be judged...

Don't pluck the splinter from your neighbor's eye before you pluck the plank from your own:):):)...

Giving without expectation of receiving:):):)...

Luke, chapter six begins with this passage:):):)...

"And it came to pass on the second sabbath after the first, that he went through the corn fields; and his disciples plucked the ears of corn, and did eat, rubbing them in their hands.

2 And certain of the Pharisees said unto them, Why do ye that which is not lawful to do on the sabbath days?

3 And Jesus answering them said, Have ye not read so much as this, what David did, when himself was an hungred, and they which were with him;

4 How he went into the house of God, and did take and eat the shewbread, and gave also to them that were with him; which it is not lawful to eat but for the priests alone?

5 And he said unto them, That the Son of man is Lord also of the sabbath.

6 And it came to pass also on another sabbath, that he entered into the synagogue and taught: and there was a man whose right hand was withered.

7 And the scribes and Pharisees watched him, whether he would heal on the sabbath day; that they might find an accusation against him.

8 But he knew their thoughts, and said to the man which had the withered hand, Rise up, and stand forth in the midst. And he arose and stood forth.

9 Then said Jesus unto them, I will ask you one thing; Is it lawful on the sabbath days to do good, or to do evil? to save life, or to destroy it?

10 And looking round about upon them all, he said unto the man, Stretch forth thy hand. And he did so: and his hand was restored whole as the other.

11 And they were filled with madness; and communed one with another what they might do to Jesus.

12 And it came to pass in those days, that he went out into a mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God."

An interesting passage for those who may want to use the legacy of Jesus to argue for a world of law and order:):):)...

Then Jesus talks about the foundations of virtue:):):)...and how those foundations secure us against the harsh winds of fortune:):):)...

As Luke (my favorite Gospel, by the way) tells it:):):)...

13 And when it was day, he called unto him his disciples: and of them he chose twelve, whom also he named apostles;

14 Simon, (whom he also named Peter,) and Andrew his brother, James and John, Philip and Bartholomew,

15 Matthew and Thomas, James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon called Zelotes,

16 And Judas the brother of James, and Judas Iscariot, which also was the traitor.

17 And he came down with them, and stood in the plain, and the company of his disciples, and a great multitude of people out of all Judaea and Jerusalem, and from the sea coast of Tyre and Sidon, which came to hear him, and to be healed of their diseases;

18 And they that were vexed with unclean spirits: and they were healed.

19 And the whole multitude sought to touch him: for there went virtue out of him, and healed them all.

20 And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said, Blessed be ye poor: for yours is the kingdom of God.

21 Blessed are ye that hunger now: for ye shall be filled. Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh.

22 Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man’s sake.

23 Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven: for in the like manner did their fathers unto the prophets.

24 But woe unto you that are rich! for ye have received your consolation.

25 Woe unto you that are full! for ye shall hunger. Woe unto you that laugh now! for ye shall mourn and weep.

26 Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets.

27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,

28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.

29 And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloke forbid not to take thy coat also.

30 Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again.

31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.

32 For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them.

33 And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same.

34 And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.

35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.

36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.

37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

39 And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch?

40 The disciple is not above his master: but every one that is perfect shall be as his master.

41 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

42 Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother’s eye.

43 For a good tree bringeth not forth corrupt fruit; neither doth a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.

44 For every tree is known by his own fruit. For of thorns men do not gather figs, nor of a bramble bush gather they grapes.

45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.

46 And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?

47 Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like:

48 He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock.

49 But he that heareth, and doeth not, is like a man that without a foundation built an house upon the earth; against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great.

BRILLIANT STUFF, really:):):)...The Greatest Hits of Jesus of Nazareth, you might say:):):):):)...some of his best wisdom and teachings in the Gospels:):):):):)...

It was just interesting that the Pastor would reference this passage -- my favorite in the Bible --my first day at Church:):):)...

Very impressive church:):):)...I will definitely be back next week:):):)...

And the great thing is:):):)...

I do so COMPLETELY out of a sense of inspiration and love and appreciation for what a good group of folks are at Ninth Street Baptist:):):)...especially and including Reverend Brown:):):)...

And...of course:):):)...my good friend, Fred:):):)...

And...maybe:):):)...I might join the church choir:):):)...

It was interesting being one of 5 or 6 white folks at a mostly black church:):):):):)...

And a great experience, overall:):):)...

Can't wait to go back:):):)...

Hope everyone has/is having a great weekend:):):)...

Talk with you soon:):):)...

Love,
Ben

Posted by benfrankln at 3:57 PM CDT
Updated: Sunday, 10 July 2005 4:01 PM CDT
Wednesday, 18 May 2005
An apology and an willingness to take a new look at David Horowitz's End of Time:):):)...
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Harry Connick, Jr.:):):):):):)...If I only had a brain:):):):):)...
Topic: religion/free will
Well:):):):):):)...

Though I am TOTALLY EXHAUSTED after getting very little sleep, last night and this whole last week:):):):):):)...

After a full morning of visiting various websites and blogs and news media that I frequent:):):):):)...

I happened by David Horowitz's Frontpagemag as I often do to see what the far right is up to, these days:):):):):)...

And I wanted to see what David's new book, End of Time, was all about:):):)...

After reading David's blog and work more than 6 years, I had/have LOTS OF GOOD REASON to believe that the famed right-wing polemicist is not up to much good:):):):):):):)...David has lost so much trust with me of offering a fair and decent perspective on world events that I would/have/still do have much doubt about his ability to come back from the hate and destructiveness at the edges of far right politics...

...he's ugly in his attacks...David seems to never have met a liberal that he believes is acting in good faith, unless they are an ex-communist, like David...everyone who disagrees with David is almost and sometimes much more than almost LITERALLY in league with terrorists or communists or whatever group David is hating these days...

So David hasn't earned a lot of good faith, in my book...he's had a lot of great things to say about communism and terrorism, both, I think...and A LOT of really ugly, hateful things to say as well...

And then he comes out with his new book about dealing with prostate cancer, End of Time...

David isn't new to personal memoirs...I read the bulk of Radical Son when I was in grad school and curious about the tragic legacies of left-wing radicalism from the 60's on...only to discover a whole world of left-wing radicalism from much farther back and with much more breadth and danger and ugliness than I ever imagined...

If you have not studied that legacy of left-wing radicalism -- especially the most grotesque rationalizations of Communism found among folks like David's family, who were Stalinists -- then I highly recommend doing so...and reading David's books...it is one long lesson in propaganda and deception and self-deception...and it is FASCINATING:):):):):):):):):)...let me assure you:):):)...

But David's late conversion to conservativism after a youth of communism and radicalism has not been frought with fair and open-mindedness, shall we say...

David went from left-wing polemnicist to right-wing polemnicist...with the major common denominator being that he doesn't seem to trust ANYONE but himself...and he trust himself WAY TOO MUCH...

I will say, up front, that...from dealing with David for quite some time, now...that I am probably being TOO GENEROUS with him:):):):):)...David is the perpetual Lucy in my life...promising to make some great breakthrough as a human being and then leaving me on my ass, removing the football of decency and fair-mindedness from my reach, leaving me always wondering why I just can't give up on this guy:):):):):)...

And maybe this book will be the kind of break for David that I -- and hopefully David -- have been looking for:):):):):)...

I have to say that it DOES look more LOVING than any other book I've ever seen by David:):):):):)...and more humbling (something that David needs/has been needing in a BIG WAY:):):):):)...

And I can't say that David's daily blog and articles and polemic rhetoric are all that encouraging to me that this thing is genuine...

But like Charlie Brown lining up to be fooled yet again by nasty little Lucy...

I'll give David another try, yet again:):):)...

If you haven't checked out the earlier link:):):)...It appears that David was diagnosed with prostate cancer, shortly after 9/11...and that he started to study seventeenth-century Catholic philosopher and scientist Blaise Pascal (David is Jewish, culturally...so this is no sectarian effort on David's part:):):)...

There always seems to be something fishy when it comes to David Horowitz...and I don't notice anything about him acknowledging what an ASSHOLE he's been to so many people over the years, both on the left and on the right (to be fair to David, he does apologize for much of his attrocious record on the left in earlier memoirs like Radical Son:)...

I'm not confident AT ALL that this book will not turn out to be a half-baked rationalization for his sorry-ass manipulative and propagandistic ways, YET AGAIN:):):):):):) (like I said...David's gotten by hopes up and dashed them MANY TIMES:):):):):)...

But I'm giving him a shot:):):):):)...

And I need to apologize, anyway, because I mistook David's work for the apocalyptic rhetoric that I had been hearing on the right, recently:):):):):)...and thought that this is what the book referred to (which may still be the case, seeing that these are EXACTLY the kinds of self-righteous hard right folks that David runs with:):):):):)...

But I'm going to give David a genuine shot, here, and assume that this book is a thoughtful reflection on death and life and politics:):):):):)...

I will probably be disappointed, in that regard:):):):):)...

But maybe it's an indication of some growth on David's part:):):):):)...

We'll see:):):):):)...

Also...you might check out Robert Spencer's thoughtful commentary on the events in Afghanistan...and doing what Frontpage Magazine does best...holding murderers responsible for their actions and not those that supposedly provoke them...as Robert says, "The gorilla in the living room that no one wants to notice, is that flushing a Qur’an down the toilet should not be grounds to commit murder."

EXACTLY ON THE MONEY:):):):):)...from the news publication that best held my own feet to the fire on this subject when I was a grad student and the reason why I still frequent Frontpage's front, middle, and back pages, despite all of it's ugly, manipulative rhetoric:):):)...

And it's nice to see a conservative publication -- especially a publication I, generally, think of as far right -- publish the words, "...this is not really a story about media bias or carelessness at all"....granted...the story takes what I think are unfair potshots at Newsweek (as I would expect from this sort of conservative publication)...but it's a good start:):):):):)...and I, for one, welcome it:):):):):)...

Maybe David and Frontpage are making their way back from the right-lurching abyss, these days:):):):):):)...

I sure hope so:):):):):)...

In the meantime:):):)...I've got to sleep:):):):):)...

Have a great day, everyone:):):)...

Love,
Ben

P.S. If David, folks at Frontpage, or any conservative or anyone WHATSOEVER thinks that they're going to get "more than an apology" from me, as the President has -- likely arrogantly and irresponsibly, from the confirmations of Koran desecration that I've seen -- then they can SUCK MY LEFT NUT...

I am not so easily intimidated by right wing folks trying to avoid responsibility...and David's EARNED his bad faith in my book...and if this book is his effort to make things right, then so be it...and I'll enjoy reading it...and if not -- as I somehow expect at least a good portion of this book to be -- then I'm impressed with David's PROGRESS (if he is making some in this book...which it is VERY POSSIBLE he is not...though the way the book is presented seems to indicate progress on David's part)...not his full admission of what a MAJOR ASSHOLE he's been to liberals and others of good faith...some VERY RECENTLY...

But I ALWAYS give people another chance -- no matter how many they've used up with me:):):):):):):)...

And David is no different:):):):):):):)...

First and foremost...David Horowitz is a man and a human being...that I care very deeply about...even as he has SHAT UPON liberals like me for quite some time, now, for which he is responsible...whether he likes being held responsible for that or not...

But I care about him as a human being...

And I'm reading and recommending his book for that purpose as well...

I'd be naive to think that this is David's mea culpa...especially when the publicizing of the book mentions NO MEA CULPA, at all, which MANY, MANY folks deserve from David Horowitz...

But hope does spring eternal in my heart that maybe...just maybe...David might be making some reasonable progress towards being a decent human being:):):):):)...

And I and everyone should want to see that happen:):):):):)...no matter how we cut our politics:):):):):)...

Here's to hoping good things about David's book:):):):):)...and for everyone like David, everywhere, who need and deserve as many chances as they need to be a decent human being:):):):):)...

Love,
Ben

Posted by benfrankln at 11:08 AM CDT

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